Pitching Tents, Pit Toilets and Polygamists...It's a Marriage Seminar!

Soda, a package of socks, sides of a die, legs of an insect, strings of a guitar, and sides of a hexagon. How in the world could these relate to our marriage seminar you might ask? They all represent the number 6. Six also represents the number of wives of one of our marriage retreat attendees. Some men came with 3 wives, others came with two and some brought their only wife. KasiKasi (kah-see kah-see) was the winner with 6 wives tho! He didn’t actually bring all six with him. Interestingly enough, he brought the 6^th wife with him. She is a lovely young woman by the name of Mama Lepapa. Lepapa (leh-pah-pah) is the name of her first born son. I had the privilege of getting to know her better as we waited for our husbands to fix the puncture we experienced on the way to the seminar.

Six also represents the number of hours it took to get to the place of our seminar. Early Friday morning we loaded up our car with our tent, camping materials, food, necessary items for the seminar games, and the celebration cake I prepared in advance. We took Meg to school and headed out for what was to be one of the most memorable marriage seminars we’ve ever hosted.

Two hours later we arrived part way in the Masai village of Mairowa, also known as the “ big city” out in those remote parts. It’s “big” because it hosts a few rinky-dink shops, a central market, a clinic, school , church, a guest house and phone coverage in certain areas. It is also fairly easy to reach by car. We stopped in at our friend Kasi Kasi’s house to offer him a lift and to wait for our church planters Isaiah and Elizabeth from Matale C to come ride with us. After two hours of waiting and endless lessons in counting in Masai as well as various random vocabulary, it was apparent that Isaiah and Elizabeth were no shows. It was at this point we decided to walk to the large termite mound about 100 yards from us where we were told we could get phone coverage in the hope of calling them. Arriving there and discovering no service we then continued on to a boma further south. Word of mouth says you can get service there if the “winds are right.” Ha! Well that was a no-go. Someone then said over at the clinic we’ll have better luck. Oh dear! After making about a one mile-radius circle and holding our phone way up in the air it was evident we weren’t going to get any phone service in the great “metropolis” of Mairowa. With only an hour before the seminar was to start we decided we best leave for our host village of Enkeua, (En-kay-wah) and hope that Isaiah and Elizabeth would make it sometime later. (We found out later that they couldn’t come because their son was sick).

Enkeua is a lovely little village nestled in a valley, surrounded by breathtaking, rocky mountains. It hosts a small store, many Masai bomas, a school and most importantly… a great church led by our dear Masai friend, James Kukan. James was actually trained by CMF Kenya many years ago. He moved to the Enkeua area to begin church planting. He serves as our overseer for the church plants amongst the Masai. He’s an amazing man of God with bold leadership and a pastor’s heart. The committed devotion of the church members reflects the kind of solid leadership James provides.

It took us over an hour to reach Enkeua from Mairowa. It is a very rocky way resembling a road for about half the way. After that it looks more like a Jeep commercial, traversing though deep ruts, teetering over rocky outcroppings. It was at this point we discovered what we dreaded…. A flat tire! Kasi Kasi and Todd began the work of repairing the tire while Mama Lepapa and I bonded. (See pic of the two of us) She was amazed with my white skin. At one point she even put her leg up against mine commenting on how white I am. She then compared our arms, pointing out some of my moles. I noted some of her scars. I pointed to one and she said that was from a burn. I pointed to some long, cut-like scars on her other arm and asked if those were from burns as well. She then got real quiet and sheepishly informed me that her husband made those. Because she “carelessly” lost some of their cows he beat her with his stick. Trying to conceal my shock and dismay I then asked if he still beats her. She simply replied, “still.”

It became apparent to me this delay wasn’t about the flat tire at all. I truly believe God, Mama Lepapa’s precious Father, who loves her with an everlasting love, wanted me to have a greater understanding of what we were going to be facing and to prepare accordingly. The thirty minutes required for our husbands to change the flat tire allowed me insight into a century’s old stronghold of cultural disdain for their women. Like the woman at the well, God wanted to fill these dear Masai women with His Living Water so that they would never thirst again and at the same time open the eyes of their husbands to see from His Word just how precious their wives are!

We finally arrived at the church in Enkeua with everyone waiting. How exciting! We’ve hosted this seminar countless times, each time adding a little more based on what we learned from the previous one. Why I didn’t think in advance that we would be dealing with polygamists escapes me. Imagine my shock when starting the “get to know you ice breaker” game only to hear, “Which wife?” Ha! One man brought 3 of his wives. Overcoming my surprise I responded, “Well, we’ll be playing several games at this retreat so for the first game play with your first wife. For the 2^nd game play with your 2^nd wife and so on.” Ha! What a hoot! The games offered so much laughter as you can see in one of the pictures. They also served to relax people before introducing some "taboo" issues like intimacy in marriage, treatment of women, etc.

God’s presence was palpable in that little dirt-floored church. Incidentally, this is the building that CMF helped build. It’s not completed, lacking windows, floor and cosmetic things but it served us well for the seminar! We hit some really hard issues as we opened the Word of God to hear His plan for marriage, husbands and wives. We discussed cultural traditions surrounding marriage and women and compared them with scripture. Most were surprised that the Bible has so much to say about marriage. Perhaps the most astonishing revelation for them was to read for themselves God’s design for women…equal with men and how women were to be loved and cherished…”as Christ loves the church…”

Addressing cultural issues and comparing them with Word is like pealing back layers of an onion. We receive revelation into one only to peal that back to reveal yet another. It’s a process of healing and learning to walk out that new found freedom and revelation. We truly only touched the surface with this seminar but this I know... seeds have been planted and we have full confidence in the Holy Spirit to cultivate those seeds. Our Heavenly Father loves His children and longs for them to know His ways… better ways…safer and more blessed ways to live. No one… not even humble pastoralists living at what seems like the “end of the world” are beyond the scope of His love. For all the women at the seminar I know God showed Himself as “El Roi,” “The God who sees me..” Their precious Father showed them that He not only sees them but He loves and cherishes them, will never leave nor forsake them. He has a better life for them. If that was all we accomplished in that weekend then I’m satisfied. But I know God did so much more in them and in us. We truly went not exactly knowing what to expect. Yet true to His Word…our God did “immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine” because of His love for marriage and His great love for His children, the Masai people of Tanzania.